This must be it
by TwistedPenguin
Summary: The story of friends who were more than such...


"Matt, you're overly sensitive" That seemed to be the blonde's favorite phrase

"Matt, you're overly sensitive" That seemed to be the blonde's favorite phrase.

When he first arrived at Whammy's house, when his pet turtle died, even when L died…

All Matt wanted to do was cry, just get all of his emotions out and be done with them, but he couldn't, not with Mello's judgmental stare…

"Fuck off, Mello" Matt muttered under his breath. How was he supposed to hold it together through all this? Sure, Matt knew he wasn't nearly as emotionally strong as most other guys, especially Mello, but why did he always get shit about it.

The memo had just come in that their next mission had minimal chance for survival. Matt accepted of course, but it was still a bit of a blow.

"Well, come and find me when you grow a pair" Mello snapped back. He turned to leave, but not before letting a sympathetic glance slide towards he best friend, who was hiding behind his goggles, PSP in hand.

Mello knew he shouldn't be so hard on him, Matt had always been a bit of an emotional wreck. That's what happens when the person you loved, the person who raised you from an infant, is murdered in front of you. Mello had heard the whole story from behind the curtain of Roger's office. Apparently, Matt and his mother had been on their way home from a trip, possibly the beach.

They had stopped off at a gas station to fill-up, and it was late. Some guy, out of nowhere, came up behind Matt's mother, pressing a gun to her head, demanding her to hand over the keys to her car and her purse. She'd begged and begged for the man to take her purse and leave. She'd said he could have anything he wanted, as long as her and her son could leave in safety. The man was persistent, refusing to let Matt out of the car so he could flee to safety. In an act of desperation, Matt's mother kicked the man, hard in the shins. He went down, firing a shot as he fell. It caught her in the neck. Matt watched in horror as his mother gasped for air, drowning in her own blood. Someone was there quickly, a clerk who had seen her go down, but nothing could be done, she was a goner. And the assailant had run off into the night. Matt had never been the same, always an emotional disaster. Well, until he met Mello.

Mello smiled, reminiscing about their childhood, the day they first met, the day they left Whammy's house together. Mello didn't care that Matt was bad with people, he pulled him out of his shell and got him out into the world. He'd always been there for him. It had always seemed like Mello was Matt's sanity…and ironic thought.

He shook the memories from his mind, leaving Matt where he sat, tears making his Jade eyes even more vibrant behind the yellow tint of his goggles. The goggles Matt had got in order to hide his tears. He hadn't bothered with such thing until he met Mello. Mello always complained as a kid about being stuck with a baby for a friend, whining about how embarrassing it was to be seen with a kid who was always crying. Matt knew he couldn't stop the tears, he had no control over them, but he didn't want to disappoint Mello. So, he bought the goggles. After that day, the only ones who knew when Matt was crying was Matt himself, and Mello. How Mello knew, Matt could only guess. He figured it was just an extra sense you picked up from being around someone for so long…

Matt cringed as the front door of their 2-bedroom apartment slammed shut.

"Off for more chocolate, and probably a few whores" Matt said angrily to himself.

He couldn't help but to be jealous of the two things above him on Mello's importance-list.

"He really doesn't get it…does he?" Matt asked out-loud to no one in particular.

Ever since day one…

Yes, Matt could remember everything. He was in his new room, suitcase in hand, tears flowing freely, as always. He remembered being startled when he heard the voice right behind him.

"Your bed is the one that's made" Mello had said loudly in his ear.

"You don't say?" Matt said quietly, a definitive hint of sarcasm in his voice.

That had been their first conversation. Not exactly that of future best friends, but it was enough. Mello had snatched his bag out of his hand, tossing it into a corner of the room. He grabbed Matt by the hand and ran off with him through the home, introducing him to everyone and giving him small tips here and there. From that moment on, the two were inseparable. Mello was Matt's emotional back bone. It had been that way from that day on, Mello the strong and feisty, along side Matt the timid and emotional.

Until Mello's accident.

Matt remembered the day more clearly then he really wanted, and he knew Mello did too.

Matt had been at the corner-pub, grabbing his usual shot of Jack and catching the end of whatever game was on. That day it had been Brazil over Italy, Brazil taking the game with a murderous final of 8 to 2. He'd shared his round if cheers as his team defeated yet another opponent in a great, and violent as ever, game.

He'd walked back to his shared apartment. He was taken by surprise by the door, left partially open. He'd just shaken it off though, figuring he had forgotten it in his daydreaming state that morning. What met him behind that door though, was nothing he could have ever prepared for.

There, on the floor, was Mello. Or, at least he was fairly sure it was mello. It was hard to tell though, his clothes were practically completely gone, torn and burned beyond usefulness. His face and left arm was in a terrible state, the skin completely burnt from the side of his face all the way down his shoulder.

"M-m-matt…" Mello said meekly.

"Mello! Holy SHIT Mello, what happened to you!?" Matt cried out, dropping to his knees beside his worse-for-wear friend.

"Kira..there was…fire…hostage…escaped. I.."

"Never mind, shut up. That's not important right now. I've got to get you cleaned up." Matt said, interrupting Mello.

He got up and walked quickly to the bathroom. Being in the mafia had its advantages, he had to admit. As much as he hated himself for being in such an organization, that's where Mello went, so that's where he went. But, being in the mafia meant you couldn't ever show your face in a public hospital, so every member had their own mini ER, with basic painkillers, bandages, and other tools that would come in handy after a dirty job.

Matt grabbed several rolls of bandages and Neosporin. Before leaving, he went ahead and filled a small metal bowl with hot, soapy water and snagged a washcloth. He knew the job ahead of him was going to suck, bad.

He came back to the livingroom where Mello was on the floor, now moaning in pain. Matt tried to focus himself at the task at hand. He knew Mello was in excruciating pain, and he had to help him best he could

"Ok, Mello, I've gotta get you cleaned up. This looks pretty bad…and ive gotta catch it before it gets infected". Matt said, trying to keep himself calm.

Mello just nodded in response. Matt could see the pain in his eyes.

Matt wasted no time in getting down to business. He stripped the rest of Mello's top off (not that there was much there to start with). He dipped the cloth into the water, and began to clean the wounds. At the initial contact of the rag Mello let out a scream.

"Oh god! Matt, please! It hurts! Just make it stop hurting!" Mello whimpered.

Matt moved Mello's hair from his eyes. "I won't let anything take you, not yet."

He worked as quickly as he could, cleaning up the burns and applying Neosporin. Not too long after starting, Mello passed out, a bit of a relief for Matt, who was having a really hard time keeping control of himself. Mello had always been the strength in him, and now his strength was on its own.

He finished, wrapping Mello's shoulder and face in bandages. Then he carried his friend carefully to the bathroom. He stripped off the rest of Mello's clothes, not caring about how odd it would be under any other circumstances, and carefully cleaned the rest of his body up, washing off ash and dirt, applying medication to the minor injuries that covered his body. He then dressed him in some of Matt's more loose clothing, as it had to be better than whatever Mello had in his leather-themed wardrobe.

Matt laid Mello down in his bed, and waited. For 3 days he stayed awake, only leaving to relieve himself and grab a bottle of water. Finally, at the end of day 3, Mello opened his eyes again, and THEN Matt fell apart.

"MELLS! Oh god, I thought id lost you!" the tears were already coming en masse, but he didn't care.

"Ugh, matt, would you shut the hell up? Jeez…I hurt everywhere and your screaming like a fucking fan-girl!"

Matt calmed down a bit, but didn't let Mello's words hurt him. He was simply relieved that he was alive and well.

During that time, Mello had gone through serious phases of mania and depression. He was having a hard time dealing with his new scars. They hindered him from going out in public very often, as the wounds were still very sensitive. One day he would try to kill himself with whatever was in the medicine cabinet, and the next he'd be ready to take out the entire mafia on his own, just for shits and giggles.

Matt was there for every episode, talking him out of whatever it was, being there for him. After that incident, they'd mutually agreed they were even, all though neither would ever say it outloud. Mello had been there for all of matt's small problems, and matt had been there for Mello's huge one.

Matt lifted his goggles, whipping the tears from his eyes with disgust. He knew that in this line of work there'd be plenty of life/death missions, but he still hated the idea. It wasn't his own life he was worried about anyways…

"well, if we DO go down, I'm not letting things end like THIS" matt said to himself defiantly.

With that, he got up, saving his game (liberty city wasn't doing such a great job at distracting him today), and snagged a piece of paper from the printer and a pen from the desk. He sat down, and began to write. Page after page was barely written on, then crumpled up and thrown away. It took 2 hours and atleast 40 failures, but Matt finally finished. He folded the note, sticking it in his vest pocket, and walked out the door, grabbing the keys to his camaro. It was about time to get things going, and he had to get Mello. He knew where to go, although the thought of it made it sick to his stomach. He got in the car and headed down to the bunker, the name of the mafia hideout where Mello brought his "guests".

"umm…are we just going to play cards, or what?" Candy asked Mello, slightly annoyed.

"Excuse me, you stupid bitch, I paid for you, you do what I want. I want to play cards."

Mello sighed. He didn't know why he did this. Every time he got stressed, hid disappear to the bunker with some random whore…and they'd play cards. He sposed it was partially to make Matt jealous…he knew that kid hated others being in on his territory…this thought made Mello laugh.

"when did I become territory?" Mello thought to himself. He and Matt had been best friends, but that was all. For all Mello knew, Matt could ACTUALLY be straight. It didn't seem likely though. He had Never seen matt with a girl, ever.

There was a knock at the door.

"Mello, let me in, its Matt."

"oh shit" Mello muttered under his breath. He quickly swept the cards under the table.

"Take you top off, now, bra too" he said to Candy in a low voice.

Candy smiled and did what she was told, probably eager for some action. Mello just rolled his eyes. He slouched in the couch a bit before yelling back at the door.

"get it"

Matt opened the door. He took a quick glance at candy, then looked back to Mello, trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. Mello didn't miss it. He started to feel bad…

"Its nearly 7. Takada will be at the station by 7:20, we need to get going"

Mello nodded. He and Matt walked out of the building to their respective vehicles. Candy looked around, and seeing she was alone, curled up on the couch for a nap.

"Mello…" Matt said slowly, pulling the note out of his pocket.

"What Matt? We need to get going." Mello said impatiently.

Matt sighed. "Take this. If I don't make it, read it." Before Mello could respond Matt took off to his Camaro, speeding off down the street. He looked at the note in his hand. He began to tremble. Never had he been worried about a mission, why would he? He'd never had anything to worry about. Until now. He had something to worry about. He had someone to worry about. "Yeah, wait my ass" Mello muttered under his breath. With that he unfolded the note and read

_Mello,_

_ I know this doesn't quite make sense. We've been best friends since day one of Whammy's. You've been there for me since the beginning, and I hope I was enough for you when you needed it. I understand you don't share my feelings, but I love you Mello. I always have. Everytime you left me for one of your whores, it broke my heart. I understand that with you being straight, it never would've worked, but I still hoped. If your reading this, then it means I'm gone. If that is the case, then neither of us have to worry about any of this. I just thought You should know. I love you with everything I have Mello. I always have, and if theres an afterlife, I always will. I'm sorry of this freaks you out…but I had to tell you, even if its after my death. Atleast now you know._

_ Matt._

"Oh…Matt…" that was all Mello managed before the tears came. No one had ever seen Mello cry…and with a good reason. Mello never cried. But right now, he was comparable to matt on a bad day. The tears wouldn't stop, no matter what he tried.

"Matt. We will make it through this. Both of us. And when we do, It'll be my turn to tell you. I love you Matt, and you'd better know it." With that, he inhaled sharply, wiping the tears from his eyes and starting up his bike.

_Tires squeal, shots are fired. Smoke bombs go off, the car disappears, followed by pursuers. . The crowd scatters. "Get on, quickly" the blonde stranger says. Takada looks frightened. She turns to her assigned body guard for support. "Go on, he's a good guy. He'll keep you safe" she says, urging her on. Takada nods, climbing onto the back of the bike. They Ride off into the Tokyo night. _

_On the other side of the city the goggle-clad redhead is trapped by an angry looking group of gun-toting people. "Since when did the Tokyo police get to carry such nice guns?" The guns are aimed. "Now, wait a minute. If you kill me, you'll never know what my accomplice did with that nice reporter-lady". A man speaks up from the crowd. "Anyone who stands against Kira does not deserve to live!" The guns are fired, and the redhead drops to the ground, shot again and again. His life goes out with his cigarette._

Mello listened with disbelief as the radio announcer relayed the incident. His rosary was clasped in his hand as he prayed again and again for the now dead man to be anyone besides matt.

"The man who attacked the station was apparently a member of the SPK, a redhaired, younger man, with…goggles? Yes listeners, the man had goggles. What a thought. Haha"

"FUCK!" Mello screamed into the steering wheel of the truck.

"Matt. I'm sorry. I got you killed."

Mello didn't care what happened to him now. Matt was gone. He had nothing left. He got what he needed from Takada. He knew what was next, he didn't care. He set fire to the church and climbed back into the driver's seat of the semi, waiting. It was only 40 seconds…he could wait. He smiled as he felt the sudden stabbing pain in his chest.

"I love you, Matt" were mello's final words.

_Mello looks up. Its light, bright, but beautiful. He looks around. He nearly begins to cry. There Matt is, smiling. Hes covered in blood, shot up like a crack house, but smiling. "Well, Mells, apparently you were right. Welcome to the afterlife." Mello ran to him, pulling him into a tight embrace. "Matt, im sorry. For everything. I love you." Matt lifted Mello's chin. "Mello, I love you too. And this must be heaven , because now I have you." Gently, Matt kissed Mello's soft lips. Yes, this could only be heaven._

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AN: ok, its not a work of art, no tin the least. I was watching AMV's and one of them (i dont recall which, sorry) put this story into my head. It just seems to me that this is how it would have been..with a few exceptions of course. if you like it, let me know. It is a oneshot, so its done. But i still like to know what people think all the same. Thanks

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End file.
